Celebrate With The Joker
by im-batman
Summary: Joker is a very festive man, read about how he celebrates the many holidays of October.
1. Vegetarian’s Day

_An - ok so this is the first of many oneshots involving Joker, Scarecrow, and Harley Quinn. and just to make things clear Joker's gang, Joker, Harley, Scarecrow all live together. there about various holidays that are going on this month this one is about Vegetarians Day._

_disclaimer - i don't own_

* * *

Joker walked into the kitchen and was appalled at the scene before him. Everyone was sitting around the table Scarecrow, Harley, and Joker's guys Dopey, Happy, and Grumpy. Dopey was shoving a hamburger into his fatface.

"Uhhhahhiuhhah," Joker moan-yelled while pointing at Dopey.

Everyone looked up from what they were doing to stare at Joker who was now frowning at Dopey, silently judging him from where he stood in the doorway. He marched over to where Dopey was sitting and slapping the burger out of his mouth, mid-bite.

"What the fu-," Dopey started, there was a reason he was called Dopey.

Joker pulled out a gun and pressed it to Dopey's head.

"What was that," Joker licked at his lips, "What the, what the, what the what....hhmm."

Dopey didn't respond so Joker pushed him backwards in his chair, letting him fall on the dirty ceramic tile.

"Does anybody know what today is?" Joker asked walking around the room waving his hands about.

Everyone was afraid to say anything since Joker was waving his gun around and had just been pissed of by a hamburger.

"I don't know," Grumpy finally said breaking the horrible silence.

Joker's gun went straight in Grumpy's face, "YOU DON'T KNOW?" he yelled.

Grumpy shook his head 'no' quickly and nervously.

Joker pocketed his gun and sat down at the table. "Well I'll tell ya."

Everyone at the table leaned forward, except for Scarecrow who seemed most uninterested and Dopey who was still laying on the floor.

"It's Vegetarians Daaaaaaaay!!!" Joker cheered.

Grumpy stared at Joker looking confused, "Animal doctors," Grumpy said hesitantly.

"Vegetarians are people who don't eat meat," Scarecrow said from behind the newspaper he was reading.

"Oooohhhh," Said Grumpy and Happy together, obvious Happy hadn't know what it meant either.

Dopey sat up and rested his head on the table, "So is that why you went all bitch crazy about my burger, boss?"

"That was a cow once," Joker sighed, "I've decided that I'm going to become a vegetarian."

"Yeah right," Scarecrow said.

Joker jumped across the table at Scarecrow, ripped his paper from his hands and crumbled it up in a big ball then threw it back at his head.

"Why would ya wanna stop eatin' meat puddin'," Harley asked walking over to take a seat on Joker's lap.

"Cause doll, I gotta protect those damn cows," Joker pointed out at a field of imaginary cows,"Cows are pretty awesome you know, I'd like to ride one, not in a sexual way of course, but like you ride a horse."

Joker was off in his own little world where he was riding cows when Scarecrow's voice brought him back to reality.

"But you not eating them isn't going to any good," Scarecrow said throwing the ball of newspaper at the trashcan.

"What," Joker said turning to Scarecrow.

Scarecrow explained, "Just cause you don't eat it doesn't mean their not still gonna get killed." "People eating meat has been going on since forever we have to eat the cows other wise what would we do with them?"

Joker stood up from his seat letting Harley fall off his lap and walked out of the room and out of the house.

* * *

Joker was gone for hours.

The strange looking crew had moved their position from the kitchen to the living room, all plopped around on the various seating options.

Harley sat down with Scarecrow on the over sized armchair, "When do ya think Mistah J's comin' back?" she asked.

"I don't know," Scarecrow said staring down at a new paper and hoping that she would go away, this was a big chair but Harley and Scarecrow were so squashed together and it was making him feel very uncomfortable.

They sat around for another ten minutes then they heard someone at the door. Out of habit everyone grabbed a gun and had it ready and aimed at the door for whoever it might be, except for Scarecrow who had his toxin. Then the sounds moved to the french doors in the back and everyone turned.

The knob turned but no one fired yet until they could clearly see who it was. The person walked in with his back facing everyone, still standing in the doorway, hidden by the darkness.

"TURN THE FUCK AROUND," Dopey yelled.

The figure in the doorway turned around to reveal himself as The Joker.

"Mistah J!!" Harley cheered throwing her gun at Happy and skipping over to the clown.

"STOP!!" Joker yelled holding his hand up.

Harley froze knowing that when the Joker told you to stop you'd better do as he said unless you didn't enjoy living.

"Nobody move," Joker said pointing at everyone in the room.

Joker walked back out of the house and returned with a rope in his hands. He got a few feet in the doorway then was jerked backwards, he turned towards the door and started pulling on the rope with little success. He smiled at everyone then walked back outside.

The people in the house could hear him outside mumbling something to someone.

Joker walked in the house again this time with someone following him. Joker had a cow trailing behind him on the rope. Joker walked completely into the house let the rope go and went to shut the door.

"Everyone," Joker said standing beside his new pet, "This is Cow."

The gang looked at one another utterly confused. Happy was still pointing his gun at Joker and Cow.

"Hey," Joker said to Happy,"You wanna put that gun down, you're making Cow nervous." "Pretty little girl."

Happy obediently lowered his weapon.

"No ones gonna get to this one," Joker patted Cow's back, "SCAAARECROOOW."

"Where'd ya get him puddin'," Harley asked backing up from Cow who was starting to look less than friendly.

"You can get anything in The Narrows," Joker laughed putting his arm around Cow's shoulders.

Scarecrow lifted his mask up to get a better look at Cow, "Joker are you sure Cow's a girl?"

"Of course I am," Joker leaned down to look for Cow's udders only to find that there were none.

Joker straighted up, "Oooohhhh."

Cow started snorting and stomping his hooves.

Joker backed up a bit.

"SHOOT IT!!" Grumpy yelled.

Grumpy, Dopey, and Happy shot at the bull until he fell down. The floor shook when Cow fell on his side.

Joker fell to his knees, "YOU MANIACS!! YOU KILLED HIM, YOU KILLED THE COOOOW!!!"

Joker stood up and poked at the dead cow with his foot.

"Hey Joker," Scarecrow said.

"What." Joker said sadly.

"Do you know what time it is?"

"It's 1:30," Joker said looking at his watch.

"A.M.?"

"Yeeeeah," Joker said starting to get annoyed from all these questions.

Then it clicked.

"Oh," Joker said giving the cow a kick and laughing, "Get this fucking cow outta here." "Come on Harl," Harley ran to Joker and the two went upstairs.

"Do ya think we could eat that cow?" Joker asked Harley as they entered their bedroom.

* * *

_Happy Vegetarians Day everyone!! Joker tried not to eat meat. i hope you all liked this. look out for my next one on Leif Erikson Day on October 9 _

_im-batman_


	2. Leif Erikson Day

_It's Leif Erikson Day!!! And Joker's very excited about it. WoW i'm insane._

_disclaimer - i don't own_

* * *

Joker came stomping down the stairs to join his clan in the living room. When no one acknowledged his presence he took out one of his guns and fired it at the ceiling. By now everyone was pretty unfazed by gunfire but they all looked at Joker anyway.

Everyone's faces had confused expressions on them as they stared upon the Joker.

Joker was standing proudly with a horn helmet upon his head, a sword strapped to his side, and an axe in his hand. All this while still sporting his purple suit.

Dopey was the first to start laughing so he got the axe thrown at him, luckily he moved out of the way in time before the axe penetrated it's way into his skull.

"Soo-rry boss," Dopey said from behind Scarecrow's chair.

"It's alright, you dick," Joker said drawing his sword, "It's Leif Erikson Day, hinga vinga vergin," he said rocking back and forth.

Harley pulled Joker down on the couch beside her, not the smartest thing to do seeing how Joker was waving his sword about.

"Wheredya get that sexy helmet puddin'?" Harley asked while sliding her finger up and down one of the horns.

"I bought it a few weeks ago I hadn't know why I'd bought it at the time," Joker explained swinging the sword, "But then I realized what today was and I was like 'FUCK!!' that's why I bought those hats."

"Hats?" Scarecrow questioned from behind his book.

"Yee-e-aa," Joker laughed jumping up from the couch and running back up the stairs.

* * *

In a matter of minutes Joker came stomping down the stairs again, this time caring a cardboard box that contained five horn helmets in it.

"Da-daa-dada-a," Joker sang as he ran around the room placing the helmets on eveyone's heads.

He had a bit of trouble pushing a helmet over Scarecrow's masked head.

"Ah-ahaah-AH," Scarecrow said as Joker beat the helmet down onto his head.

Joker sat down on the couch setting his sword beside him and Harley immediately jumped onto his lap. Everyone was sitting around staring at each other no one looking particular happy in theirs horns, except for Joker and Harley of course.

"So we're just gonna sit here?" Grumpy asked.

"Nnnnooooooooo," Joker said.

They all continued to sit in silence, Joker not telling anyone his plan.

"Well?" Grumpy asked.

"Oh!!" Joker said, "You actually wanted to know something?"

Grumpy rolled his eyes.

"Ok," Joker started, "So I was thinking if this Leif Erikson guy could discover some new land then why can't I?"

"Joker," Scarecrow said, "What are you talking about?"

"Leif Erikson was the first guy to land in North America," Joker said.

"Wasn't that some Columbus guy?" Dopey asked.

"NO!!" Joker yelled, "Columbus didn't know shit!!!" "Leif was in North America like 500 hundred years before Columbus was," Joker said holding five fingers up.

"Ohhhh," Everyone except Scarecrow said.

"Well no matter who got here first you certainly can't find a new land," Scarecrow stated.

"And why the hell not?" Joker asked grabbing his sword to point in Scarecrow's direction.

"Because," Scarecrow said, there was really a better reason out there other than 'because' but the tightness of his helmet was effect his ability to think.

Joker pushed Harley off his lap and pondered Scarecrow's reasoning. He began licking at his sword while he thought. He eventually decided against the endeavour but wouldn't admit to Scarecrow that it was cause he couldn't do it.

He stood up from the couch and stuck his sword deep into the faded green cushion. Then he turned abruptly to his fellow horny heads.

"Can I at least get a boat?"

* * *

_Leif Erikson Day!! I'm sure everyone remembers that episode of Spongebob when it was Leif Erikson Day. Well I hope everyone enjoyed this, thanks for reading!!! Guess what tomorrow is......that's right it's Mental Health Day!!! What?? Mental FUCKING Health Day!!! Yes it's real and i'm writing about it._

_im-batman_


	3. Mental Health Day

_Mental Health Day!! I can't believe we have this and I don't know why we do but I love it._

_disclaimer - i don't own_

* * *

The guard at the front gates of Arkham Asylum fell dead on the ground at the hands of the Joker, while Harley, Scarecrow, Happy, Dopey, and Grumpy snuck through the gate. Joker didn't bother 'sneaking' he just strolled through the yard of the Asylum as if he was walking in the park.

The five others were waiting at the front entrance for Joker to arrive. Joker walked up the stairs and crouched down between Harley and Scarecrow, Harley moved to stand up to open the door but was pulled back down by Joker.

"Waaaaii--tt," Joker whispered.

"What's wrong pud'?" Harley asked.

Joker removed a watch from his coat and stared at it in the light of the moon.

He silently held up his fingers counting down the time, 3-2-1.

"Gentlemen, lady it is now officially Mental Health Day," Joker announced, "Shall we begin."

Harley clapped her hands standing to her feet as she moved over to the electronic lock. She removed a plastic card from her skirt that read 'Dr. Harleen Quinzel' and slide it down the key pad. The light on the lock changed from red to green and the door popped open.

One by one they slipped into the building, from experience Joker knew that the first room you come to in the Asylum is the waiting room so they didn't have to worry about any guards in there.

Joker and Harley walked in front followed by Grumpy and Scarecrow then Happy and Dopey.

"What are we doin' here anyway?" Dopey whispered to Happy making sure he was quiet enough so that Joker wouldn't hear him.

"Hell if I know," Happy said, "Joker just said that we was gonna celebrate Mental Health Day whatever that means."

"Ok."

* * *

Joker cautiously pushed open the doors that led out of the waiting area and into the patients' wards.

As far as Joker could tell there was at least three guards down this one hall, and Arkham Asylum was only a four story building. And Mental Health Day was pretty much Joker's favorite holiday so he had been ready for this. He quickly closed the door before any one of the guards had seen him.

"Scarecrow," Joker said holding out his hand.

Since Scarecrow knew it was pointless waiting for a 'please' from Joker he just gave him what he wanted. Scarecrow pulled a radio walkie talkie out of his coat pocket and handed it to Joker.

Joker's smile became even larger as Scarecrow placed the object in his hands, Scarecrow stared back at Joker and even with his mask on it was beginning to annoy Joker.

"What?" Joker asked.

Scarecrow continued to stare.

Joker leaned forward and patted Scarecrow's head, "Good boy."

"So how does it work?" Joker asked still patted Scarecrow's head.

"Well you-" Scarecrow slapped Joker's hand away, "You hold that button down," Scarecrow pointed to the appropriate button, "Then push this one, but not until you're ready." Scarecrow explained as he began to pass out facial masks.

"What's it gonna do," Dopey asked.

"It's going to admit my fear toxin through the guards radios," Scarecrow explained, "Making it easier for us to get through the Asylum."

"And why da we need to get through the Asylum?" Dopey asked.

"Shut the fuck up," Joker quickly said before placing his mask over his nose and mouth.

Everyone else put their masks on while Joker stared out the window in the door waiting for the perfect time to push the button.

A little scrawny twenty something guard was walking up and down the hall he had his back to the Joker now but he turned at the end of the hall and began making his way back. Joker stood up so he would be more visible to the little cock sucker.

The guy was staring down at his shoes, then he looking up and saw Joker in the window, Joker waved at him.

And just like Joker had hoped the guy reached for his radio to alarm everyone that 'the Joker's in the building!!' But before he could do that Joker pushed the button on his own radio and a stream of gas came out into the guy's face, and he fell to the floor in a fit of screams.

Joker ran into the hallway towards the body that was convulsing on the floor.

"Holy fuck it worked!!" Joker cheered his cheers were muffled by his mask a bit.

Joker pulled out a gun and shot the guy, "That's one," He said holding up one finger.

The six split up and made their way through the halls ridding them of the guards.

While Grumpy was taking down the last guard Joker was skipping his way to the control room, with Harley by his side of course, he needed her key to get into the room. The two guards that had been watching over things in the room had torn each other to pieces in fear.

Joker stepped on one of the guards heads hearing a lovely 'crack' then a 'sqush'.

Harley's face twisted when she heard the noises.

Joker found a big red button the read 'OPEN' he turned to Harley before slamming down on the button.

Joker listened as every cell door in Arkham Asylum opened simultaneously.

Joker removed his mask and pressed a button to let his voice be heard over the intercom.

"RUN FREE MY SUBJECTS RUUUUUUUUNNN."

* * *

_OK if you didn't understand this, setting all the inmates free was Joker's was of making people aware of Mental Health which is what you're supposed to do in Mental Health Day._

_And I know that how they killed the guards might not have been "realistic" but it's my fucking story and I can do what ever the hell I want._

_But any who I hope everyone liked this one and thanks for reading it!!!!!!!_

_Everyone!!! tomorrow is National Coming Out Day!!! _

_im-batman_


	4. Coming Out Day

_IT'S NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY!!! A day to celebrate gays, lezbos, bis, and transgenders. And to of course come out of that closet. I have to tell you all something.....haha NO I'm just kidding!!_

_disclaimer - i don't own _

* * *

The occupants of Joker's household were performing there usual activities.

Harley was sharpening Joker's knives. (AN - No that's nothing sexual stop thinking it!!)

Scarecrow had his masked face buried in a book.

Dopey, Happy, and Grumpy had been sent out to track down and purchase Warheads for the Joker.

Scarecrow let out a sigh when he heard Joker running down the stairs.

Joker stood in the doorway of the living room.

"ATTENTION EVERYONE!!" Joker yelled spreading his arms wide.

The only two people in the room turned their heads to him.

"I'm gay," Joker announced making his way to Scarecrow, removing his mask and kissing him roughly, forcing his tongue into his mouth.

Scarecrow tried to wriggle out of the armchair and away from Joker but found it to be impossible.

Harley watched as the scene played out in front of her, not knowing whether to think it was hot or to be upset.

"Mistah J-J-J-J," She whined.

Joker released Scarecrow who made to run but was slammed back in the chair by Joker.

Joker looked back and forth between Harley and Scarecrow.

"Well maybe I'm bi," Joker said grabbing both Scarecrow and Harley by the wrists and dragging them up the stairs.

Harley went willingly quickly running up the stairs ahead of Scarecrow and Joker, to the bedroom.

Scarecrow struggled against the Joker as much as he could.

But in the end Joker won, he grabbed Scarecrow's legs and pulled him up the stairs, hitting his head a few times on the way up.

With much distress Joker and Scarecrow finally made it up the stairs.

Scarecrow would have sprayed Joker with his fear toxin but now he didn't have his mask to protect him.

And he was pretty sure Joker would like it.

Scarecrow was forced down the hallway to Joker's bedroom.

"Haha, I love Coming Out Day," Joker said closing the bedroom door behind him and Scarecrow.

* * *

_ok i know it was short but i can't really bring myself to write sex let alone a three-some, so just imagine it, hehe. and besides you lucky people got 3 stories in a row outta me. and hey October 12th is Columbus Day so get ready!!! thanks for reading i hope everyone liked it._

_im-batman_


	5. Columbus Day

_uhhh it's Columbus Day_

_dislaimer - i own nothing. or do i._

* * *

"Hey Mistah J," Harley greeted Joker as he walked in the room.

Joker mumbled something incoherent to the human ear as he took a seat beside Harley.

"Mistah J," Harley said taking a seat on his lap, "Wha' are we doin' taday?"

"What do you mean?" Joker asked looking at Harley with a puzzled expression.

The henchmen turned to Joker and Harley gasped, amazed that he didn't know what day it was. Poor Scarecrow had refused to leave his room since the Coming Out Day incident.

"Puddin' it's Columbus Day," Harley explained, "Ain't we gonna do somethin'?"

"NOOOO," Joker yelled standing to his feet letting Harley fall from his lap.

"COLUMBUS DIDN'T DO SHIT!!!" He yelled, then he ran up the stairs to see Scarecrow.

* * *

_yeah it's short but we all know how Joker feels about Columbus. so next one coming is Boss' Day on the 16th!!_

_thanks for reading!!_

_im-batman_


	6. Boss' Day

_Boss' Day!! Who wants to work for The Joker??? oh I do!! I do!!!_

_disclaimer - i don't own_

* * *

Joker was sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for his his men and woman to return. They had been sent on a very specific assignment, Joker wanted a turducken. The idea of stuffing animals into each other was the greatest thing ever to The Joker.

Joker heard the door open and immediately got excited, grabbing his knife and fork, ready for his meal. His crew stood the the doorway of the kitchen, empty handed.

"Where is it?" Joker asked staring intently at his fork.

"We didn't know where ta get one," Dopey explained.

Joker threw his fork at him.

"Well sir, we can't really just walk into a restaurant," Grumpy said from behind Happy in case Joker decided to throw the knife.

"You know," Joker began, " I thought this was the least you all could do, considering."

They all stared blankly at The Joker.

"Oh my God they don't know what today is," Joker said staring down at his hands.

Joker brought his left hand up beside his face, his thumb under his other four fingers, resembling a mouth.

Then Joker made the gloved hand speak, in higher voice than his own.

"Holy fuck!!" Hand said, "Let's kill 'em."

Joker smacked his hand.

"Why would you say that?" He asked turning his hand to face him, "Why?"

Hand opened up to speak but was stopped.

"No, I don't wanna hear it," Joker said.

Hand turned away from Joker.

"So," Joker said, talking to the people now, "Anyone wanna take a guess, cause Hand's ready to kill ya."

* * *

Joker was distracted by Hand whispering something in his ear, so Happy glanced at the calender hanging on the wall to figure out what was so special about today.

"But that's what makes them so slippery," Joker was telling Hand when Happy blurted something out.

"Boss' Day!!"

Joker turned his attention from Hand and focused on Happy.

"What?"

"It's Boss' Day?" Happy said again, a little less confident this time.

Hand turned to Happy.

"Well where is it?" Hand asked.

"Where's what?" Scarecrow questioned.

"The bag of poo," Joker said.

"What do ya think!!" Hand bellowed.

"Oh shhh-shh," Joker comforted Hand.

"Well," Joker began, "It's Boss' Day soooo, I'm you're boss."

No one was picking up what Joker was putting down.

"You were supposed to get me STUFF!!"

The group of people looked nervously at each other, each one knowing that the other hadn't gotten anything for The Joker.

Joker sighed. "You know I thought I was a pretty great boss," Joker said talking more to Hand than the people in front of him, "But I guess noo-t."

Joker brought Hand up to his ear, so Hand could whisper something to him.

"Yeah I think you're write," Joker said to Hand, "You know you're so smart."

Joker put Hand into his coat and pulled out one of his guns, and pointed at his "employees."

Joker cocked the gun and everyone took off running in all directions.

"HAPPY BOSS' DAY!!!"

* * *

_yeah!!! I hope everyone who has a boss was nice to them today!! You don't want them to go all Joker on you ass, OHHHH i'm so excited about the next one. APPLE DAY!!!!! It's on the 21st. thanks for reading hope you liked it!!!_

_im-batman_


	7. Apple Day

_

* * *

_

APPPPPPPPPLLEESS!!!! Everyone make sure you eat your fucking apples today. I'm serious eat shitloads of them because it's Apple Day!! So it's the law.

_disclaimer - i own nothing, except this apple *holds up apple*_

* * *

The unusual group of people was gathered around the living room, Harley being the only on worried that they had seen or heard from The Joker in two days. Scarecrow however was very overjoyed about the Joker's disappearance, he'd even come out of his room.

Then everything was ruined.

The silence of the room was interrupted by the sounds of someone struggling with the front door. Everyone looked up from what they were doing to see The Joker standing before the with a five gallon bucket in each hand.

"Good morning boys and girl," Joker said setting the buckets on the floor.

Scarecrow stared at the buckets and saw that they contained apples. He stood up from his chair to leave but was stopped by Joker.

"No," Joker said picking up one of the apples and throwing it at Scarecrow's head.

Scarecrow fell back into his chair and the apple fell into his lap.

Joker pumped his fists in the air, celebrating his successful shot.

* * *

"APPPLLEESSS!!!" Joker cheered, tossing the apples to the people sitting around the room.

"Where'd ya get all the apples Mistah J ?" Harley asked as she caught her apple.

"I'm not at liberty to disclose that information," Joker said, taking a seat and pulling out a knife to dissect his apple.

Happy and Dopey looked at each other then turn back to their fruits.

Dopey examined his apple then said something well, 'dopey.'

"I don't really like apples," He said setting the fruit down on the coffee table.

Joker held his hand to his heart and gasped.

"I - you- ha-j," Joker struggled to form words while his hand moved into his jacket.

Joker removed a gun from his coat and pointed and at the dope Dopey.

"EAT IT, EAT IT," Joker yelled.

Dopey quickly grabbed his apple and began biting at it vigorously.

Everyone was sitting around, finishing up there apples when Harley started asking questions.

"Are we gonna have ta eat all them apples Mistah J ?"

"Of course not," Joker said scoffingly then standing to his feet.

"This is Apple Day of course," Joker said picking up one of the buckets, "We're gonna hand them out to the people."

Joker grabbed the other bucket and made his way out to the porch.

* * *

It wasn't long before the five people joined Joker on the porch. And soon enough a man came walking down the sidewalk, so Happy took one of the apples and went to walk down the stairs. But he was jerked backwards by The Joker.

"What are you doing?" Joker asked.

"I thought we was handing out apples."

"Oh oh oh," Joker said placing his head on Happy's shoulder.

"Not like that," Joker said taking the apple from Happy's hand.

A teenage boy in his McDonald's uniform was coming up the sidewalk this time.

Joker took the apple and whizzed it at the boy, the apple hit him in the thigh.

"Ahhh," The boy yelled, grabbing his leg. He looked around to see where the flying fruit had come from, ready to cuss someone out. Then he saw where the apple had came from and his mood changed from anger to fear. The boy ran-limped down the street away from Joker.

"HAPPY APPLE DAY!! Joker called after the boy.

* * *

_"An apple a day keeps the doctor away" Eat your apples or the doctor will come after ya. October 30 is Mischief Night!!! Thanks for reading I hope you liked it._

_im-batman_


	8. Mischief Night

_it's Mischief Night!!! Now i'm not __encouraging __everyone to run around doing crazy things tonight......but i think Joker is._

_disclaimer - i don't own_

* * *

Most of the people living in The House of Joker had fallen asleep, which was odd since it was only 9 'o clock. Harley was up in her bed, Dopey and Grumpy had fallen asleep together on the couch. Scarecrow was in his room, but he wasn't sleeping, and Happy was going to the bathroom.

Joker however was wide awake, running around the house searching for the proper objects needed for the night's events. Joker ran up the stairs from the basement and onto the stairs that led to the top floor of the house.

He stopped halfway up the stairs, raised his arm in the air and fired an air horn he had in his hand.

"HHHHHOOOOOOONNNKKKK," The horn blared.

When no one came to the sound of the horn Joker got frustrated.

He ran down the stairs into the living room where Dopey and Grumpy were sleeping and blew the horn directly in their faces. The two men's eyes shot open and they fell off the couch, confused as to what was going on.

"What is it?" Grumpy asked jumping to his feet, "What's gonna on?"

"Hello," Joker said, giving the horn another honk before turning to the stairs.

The people upstairs were thinking ahead, because by the time Joker got to the top of the stairs everyone was coming out of their rooms.

"Yes," Joker said running back down the stairs blowing the horn the whole time.

* * *

Everyone gathered in the living room while Joker was running like a mad man from the living room to the kitchen then outside.

Joker ran through the living room dropping an air horn into everyone's lap.

The next lap he took through the house he stopped to speak.

"Mischief Night," He said, "Let's go."

That didn't exactly give the crew very much information but they didn't want to question The Joker. Scarecrow was the most reluctant to follow, but he went, he left his air horn laying on the couch though.

* * *

Joker ran down the middle of the road blowing his air horn and cackling. Everyone decided they'd better join in or Joker would start to get pissed.

Joker had filled the porch with useful Mischief Night items.

Happy, Dopey, and Grumpy grabbed rolls of bathroom tissue and started throwing them around in the neighbor's trees. Harley was coating someone's car windows with a thick layer of shaving cream. Joker was still having fun with his air horn.

Joker ran back to the porch and saw Scarecrow sitting on the front steps.

He honked the horn, "Scarecrow."

"What?"

"DO SOMETHING!!" Joker yelled over the sound of the horn.

Scarecrow walked down the sidewalk to the neighbor's trashcans and pushed one of them over then walked back to his seat in the steps.

Joker rolled his eyes and went to see what someone else was doing.

Joker stood, looking out at the street listening to the sounds of glass breaking, children screaming, dogs barking and was filled with joy at how this Mischief Night was turning out, but he wanted more mischief.

Joker walked over to Grumpy and Happy who were busy shrink wrapping a car.

Joker honked the horn twice in approval.

But concerned with more mischief Joker went into the house to get some, gasoline. Joker carried two containers that contained gasoline out of the house and walked across the street, to a house that's inhabitants were out of town.

"Gather around," Joker called.

Joker kicked in the house's door and walked inside spreading the gas around the living room. When Joker exited the house everyone, even Scarecrow was standing on the sidewalk outside the house.

Joker lit a match and walked down the stairs to join the group.

The house was quickly engulfed in flames, while Joker and company stood and watched.

"Oooooo, ahhhhhhh, oooooo," They said as the watched the house.

* * *

_so their it is, ok i'm pretty sure that you can do anything you want on Mischief Night, but i don't think you're allowed to light fires anymore i'm not sure, but Joker can do what ever the fuck he wants. so thanks for reading i hope you liked it. Umm obviously Halloween is next i think everyone knows when that is, tomorrow._

_im-batman_


	9. Halloween

_Happy Halloween everyone!! WoW it's the last day of October already, damn this month went by quick. _

_disclaimer - i don't own_

* * *

The men of the group, Scarecrow, Dopey, Happy and Grumpy were scattered around the basement in an attempt to hide from Joker since today was Halloween. And they all knew that Joker was going to make them do something, that they didn't want to do.

"I don't think he's even in the-" Dopey was cut off.

"Shhh, shh shhhhhh," Everyone said to Dopey.

"I hear footsteps," Happy whispered pointing to the ceiling.

"Oh my gosh," Joker said walking around the empty house, "They've all been taken by ALIENS!!!"

Dopey let out a loud sneeze in the dusty basement, which got him a smack in the back of the head from Grumpy.

Joker heard strange noises coming from the basement.

"Oh fuck it's the aliens," He said walked towards the stairs that lead to the basement, "They're still here."

Joker opened the basement door letting a stream of light shine down the stairs, and everyone in the basement froze.

"RRRAAAAAWWRRRR!!" Joker yelled from the top of the stairs.

When Joker didn't hear a reply he made his way down the stairs, it was unfortunate for him that the light switch was at the bottom of the stairs.

He reached the bottom and hit the lights. The lights came on and revealed Joker's crew sitting around on the cement floor of the basement.

"What is thiii-sss?" Joker asked walking further into the basement.

Happy laid down on the floor and acted like he was asleep.

"It is Halloween," Joker said, "And I find you all down here having some sorta sayons, or something I don't even know." "And where's Harley, did you guys kill her or what?" "I mean I don't care if ya did but there's more important things to be doing on Halloween, like trick or treating."

The guys stared at Joker dumbfounded that he didn't remember where Harley was, and she hadn't even been gone one day.

"She's in the shed out back," Grumpy said.

Joker gasped, "Why is she in there?"

Scarecrow sighed, "Because that's where you sent her."

Joker gave him a confused look.

"It's that time of the month," Scarecrow explained, "And that's where you make Harley go during that time."

"Ooooookkaaayy," Joker said.

They remained in silence for the next few minutes while The Joker paced the room.

* * *

"Well," Joker began, "We're still dressing up in the costumes I picked out, even if Harley's not here."

Scarecrow's heart dropped when he heard Joker say that he had picked out costumes for them.

"I'm gonna go get 'em," Joker said turning and running back up the stairs.

"Ehhhhhh," Everyone moaned once Joker was a safe distance away.

In no time at all Joker was coming down the stairs again, this time with a big cardboard box in his arms. He came into the basement and dropped the box in the center of the floor.

"Come on, come on," Joker said motioning for the guys to com look in the box.

The guys stood to their feet and stared down into the box, and saw an assortment of what looked to be woman's clothing.

"Happy Hallooooweeen!!!" Joker cheered as he began to remove his clothes.

* * *

With some struggle, and a few bullets fired at people's feet, Joker finally managed to get everyone up onto the front porch. Joker, Scarecrow, Dopey, Happy, and Grumpy had all been transformed into women, thanks to The Joker.

Joker went down the line of 'ladies' and gave them each a paper bag.

"Let's go," Joker commanded pointing out to the street.

The 'men' hung their heads in shame as they walked from the porch, not The Joker though he was marching proudly down the street in his high heels.

Scarecrow's teeth clattered as he walked through the cold October night in his mini shirt. At first glance Scarecrow could be mistaken for an actual woman, and an attractive one at that. Joker's identity was instantly given away by his usual covering of make-up he wore. However the rest of the henchmen made very ugly women.

Joker turned into the walkway of the first house he came to and hurried up to the door. The five gathered around the door and Joker beat on it until someone answered.

"Trick or treat," Joker said, "Give me candy!!"

* * *

_Happy Halloween everyone!! So I guess this is the last one, I don't know if I should start another one for November, tell me what you think. _

_But yeah I don't know where half of this stuff was coming from, with the aliens and all that I don't even know, haha._

_So anyway thanks for reading and i hope you liked it!!_

_im-batman_


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